everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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