There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
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