you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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