Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize