Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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