i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
