I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize