He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
