you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
