he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I checked into jail on foursquare
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
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