Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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