In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
