hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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