Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize