thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
