If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
