you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
