NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Randomize