Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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