well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Randomize
