Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize