I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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