I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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