I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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