somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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