Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize