I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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