My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Randomize