margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
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