so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
