Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
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