You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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