she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
