I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Randomize
