did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
