piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I'm drive I can fine osifer
I think my vagina is haunted
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
You need Xanax blowdarts
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
MIDGETS
????
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
