Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
