I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
You pole danced in your parka.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Randomize
