i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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