i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
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