WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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