i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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