He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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