Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
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