These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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