butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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