bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
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