Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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