Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
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