doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize