we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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