Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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