erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize