please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Please don't give away my fajitas
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
