so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
it glows. i had to have it.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
