We're facebook friends in real life
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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